"Judge not, that ye be not judged." Matthew 7:1
Jesus says regarding judging - Don't. The average Christian is the most penetratingly critical individual. Criticism is a part of the ordinary faculty of man; but in the spiritual domain nothing is accomplished by criticism. The effect of criticism is a dividing up of the powers of the one criticized; the Holy Ghost is the only One in the true position to criticize, He alone is able to show what is wrong without hurting and wounding. It is impossible to enter into communion with God when you are in a critical temper; it makes you hard and vindictive and cruel, and leaves you with the flattering unction that you are a superior person. Jesus says, as a disciple cultivate the uncritical temper. It is not done once and for all. Beware of anything that puts you in the superior person's place.
There is no getting away from the penetration of Jesus. If I see the mote in your eye, it means I have a beam in my own. Every wrong thing that I see in you, God locates in me. Every time I judge, I condemn myself (see Romans 2:17-20). Stop having a measuring rod for other people. There is always one fact more in every man's case about which we know nothing. The first thing God does is to give us a spiritual spring-cleaning; there is no possibility of pride left in a man after that. I have never met the man I could despair of after discerning what lies in me apart from the grace of God. ~ Oswald Chambers
How easy it is to judge and criticize someone when you have not experienced their life. When we put ourselves above others we can, with little to no compassion, jump to conclusions and develop a critical nature. The saying "Hind-sight is 20/20" has much value when learning to control our critical attitude. There is also a saying "Don't judge a man until you've walked in his shoes" I say If you are not walking in that person's shoes don't judge them.
There is of course righteous or justified judgment when someone murders, steals, abuses etc... but I am speaking of the unjust judgment in which many Christians indulge. I myself have been guilty of this.
A short time ago someone did a favor I did not ask for. I would like to call it a charitable deed but can not, for along with it came judgment and a long list of what was wrong with my circumstance. Someone who knows nothing about me or my whole condition decided, (plausibly even unconsciously) he was superior and therefore put himself in the position as master and me in the position as slave. When someone places himself above another and advances with his judgment and criticism without asking the Lord first, how does he maintain he believes in loving thy neighbor?
Matthew 6:1-4 Take care not to perform charitable deeds before men to be seen by others; otherwise you will have no reward of your Father which is in heaven. When you give, do not blow a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do ----- to win the praise of others. Amen, I say to you, they have their reward. But when you give, do not let your left hand know what your right is doing, so that your charitable giving may be secret. And your Father who sees in secret will repay you.
In this situation I was hurt and had to step back and ask God for His charity, grace and discernment so as to not repay judgment in return for the judgment I had received. So, before we criticize or judge someone about their situation we need to withdraw and not do it unless it is justified. And no, the majority of the time it isn't (even though we may try to make it seem so) The Lord has been gracious in letting me learn something good from something bad. To watch and think before I speak, to not judge others, and to mind my own business. My purpose is to be a servant of our Lord and do His bidding. How wonderful Christ has paid for my trespasses, misgivings and shortcomings!
Should we not gladly be slaves to Christ by giving willing and lovingly without condition, criticism or judgment?